English Literature - This is A Goodbye Post.

Bye, English Literature. I don't think I'll be able to cope up with you anymore. It has been a great journey following up with your knowledge. I don't loathe you, neither do I regretted learning you. The past eight months have been such a joyful road. I wish I could stay but I'm guessing I just have to catch up on other subjects. You weren't my first priority from the beginning but you were one of my favourites though the class did me no good. Most of the time I find myself not being able to write at all during class. It doesn't matter anymore. Whats past has past. I shall move on. I'll be sending kisses and hugs to you and to my role 'Miss Chee'. Someone else deserves it better. I really think so. Goodbye.

yours truly,
helinna

But this doesn't mean I won't do my own analysis on short stories and poems. I have a big heart to it. It is my hobby. :)

EXAMS - :S

Hi diary ;),

I am supposed to be doing productive stuff today. Unfortunately, that plan did not happen. I was stuck on facebook and twitter letting time pass by like that. Sometimes I find it rather a waste of time checking all of this because seriously, it is only a social network that connects you and your friends. Its not some kind of an educational business or anything. As much as I sound like a nerd, I strictly agree to what I had just stated back there.

Anyhow, I've got to start studying already. Finals might be a month away but OPEN YOUR EYES, there's not much time left before you've got to face the war on the day of the battlefield. I'm pretty much lacking behind in certain subjects and parts. I supposed the lack of reading makes me this way. Or more likely, the lack of paying attention in class. UGH. Especially when it comes to physics, I find myself trying not to let bubbles evaporate when they are all flying away in different directions. Other subjects are better left unsaid thank you very much.

Whats worst, I have my major Japanese Exam coming up in September. You know how Japanese exams freak me out every term because I can't even read Katakana nor Kanji without looking at my textbook. I guess I lack practice in all this. My Japanese is getting way poorer day by day and it sucks! I used to be top last time in class.

So I'm guessing that I should just stop whining and start committing myself into studies. :)

Insya-Allah, I'll do fine. All I need to do is just to study hard and smart. Amin.

yours truly,
helinna

Sleepover @ Ira's

Dear diary,

On Wednesday, I slept over at ira's house! It was awesome and I had so much of fun.

After school, I followed ira by her car to go to her piano class. During the whole journey there, I told her pretty much about everything that she needed to know. I finally had hope in myself. There was actually a best friend to hear it all out from me after all. Anyway, it had been almost a few months back since I last step foot at her studio. We played some songs on the piano just like the old days. Well, maybe not that old. Haha. Anyway, before her piano class, we run a few errands. It was hilarious when ira picked up the wrong leaves that her mom told her to buy. The cashier lady was simply laughing at her while the other salesperson gave the correct leaves. I've known that I was a sucker for all this kitchen work, so I chose not to be the leader of it.

We walked along the row of shops in our school uniform. I find it kind of weird and cool at the same time. It is not always you see students walking along together in their school uniforms at such areas. I haven't come to a conclusion whether it was pretty weird or just plain normal because I've never been a resident of that area. Moving on, we saw this vendor van who sold Soya Bean drinks. Being ira who loves Soya Bean, and so do I, she bought two big bottles. The type of Soya Bean she bought was definitely the one which gives people a taste of sparkling, rekindle feeling especially if you are walking non-stop while fasting on a hot day. It made me want to quench my thirst so badly!

After ira's piano class was over, we dropped off for a while to her cousin's place. Greeted her for a while and then, we went back to her house.

We went online, had our bath, etc. etc.

Saba came around 6.00 o'clock. Nothing much happened. I tried to finish up my add math homework but by that time, we had to go downstairs to break our fast.

I was extremely thirsty! I kept on drinking a few glasses of Soya Bean milk and Watermelon Juice after every helping. To top it all of, my favourite juice is Watermelon Juice. :)

Unfortunately for ira, she had her gastric attack. Saba and I followed her to the pharmacy to buy her medicine. The plans to go for Terawih prayer had to be canceled due to her illness. It was kind of sad because I've never technically gone for Terawih with my friends. I only get to meet them there at the mosque. And I was just about to teach ira how to perform the Terawih Prayer.

So instead of going for Terawih, we lazed around in the moonlit night. The moon was pretty as how I recall. It was a full moon. It amazed me all the time when I look at nature. It reminds me about Allah, the creator of the Universe. :)

We finished up our homework (but unfortunately, I did not get to finish mine because my add math tuition homework was a pile of mountains). Ira and Saba watched Vampires Suck and I guess the movie did live up to its title. I only caught a slight glimpse of certain parts because I could not keep my eyes open. So, I gave it in and slept early.

All in all, I had so much of fun. The most annoying part that happened during the sleepover was when Saba's alarm call which was this rock song played throughout the entire time for three solid times! It made me want to throw the phone to a wall or something. Ugh!

Just realized how much I miss the bestfriend. :') We've not been spending too much time together because we haven't been in the same class for two years already! It's sad but knowing our friendship still remains makes me feel really happy and I hope nothing will change as it is now.

yours truly,
helinna

Best Friend

Before you know it, things will get a little better for you. :)


I find myself living in a world where my mind gets so narrow whenever I get hit by a hurricane. It's not wrong for someone to actually act recklessly at times because when your heart is having splinters, all that matters is to let the pain go away. No matter what kind of moves you make yourself do.

So on Saturday, I cleared it up with my best friend. I asked her whether I was still her best friend or not. It took me just a few minutes asking, to hear the confession that she had made. Finally, when she told me that 'Yes, I was one of her best friends in the world' , I couldn't help but feel a huge burden beyond me slowly eradicating. I learned that she still remembers me as her best friend though we're in different classes now. It makes my heart a little warmer because I thought it was no longer that way, our friendship. So right now I am just so content having my best friend around me during hardship and happy moments. :)

Being jealous about something tells you that you care so much and nothing can come between anything that you're jealous about. It shows you that if you take something for granted, this is how you are going to feel once it vanishes from your life. It is like a reminder for you to treat others just like how you want others to treat you. And I finally understood why sometimes I find myself living in a dark world. It is because I am feeling this jealousy feeling that could bring me at loss. My emotions often disturbed.

yours truly,
helinna

p/s: might be sleeping over at ira's house on friday. hope mum and dad won't mind. :)

National Library

For nearly two months of waiting to go explore the National Library, mom and dad finally brought me there. It was a total awe moment for a while because all I dreamed of were there. The chairs, the tables, the books, the shelves, the counter and everything else. Unfortunately, certain things disappoint me in some way. The place is huge but they made the place be filled with unnecessary stuff or should I say, with nothing at all. At least put books that might as well fill up the space. I still think that library in the movies are way cooler.

Nonetheless, the books I encountered were interesting! It has a wide range from history-psychology-philosophical-FICTION. I think it's time for me to widen my horizon, to explore new and educational things. When I was younger, mum used to buy me books about nature, history and one thing I will never forget is an encyclopedia book which I still have it in the cabinet. As a little girl, all I had in mind was story books. It didn't hit me at first but now as I look back again, I regretted not reading educational books to let my infant mind grow to a higher level. Anyway, I still do think that story books help to build up the mind in a way that I can think creatively. I could write stories of magical fantasies that may not be the best but I could go on and on about the fairytale world.

Mum and Dad were occupied with our Malayan histories. I am amazed with our warriors who fought for our country. Without their sacrifice and determination, we wouldn't live peacefully in our country. So, basically we started with the upper floor which was the 4th floor and came down to the 3rd, 2nd, 1st and finally to the ground floor. We had to cross to the other side of the building to rent books. Mum found it really troublesome having different buildings to rent the books. What's worst was that, the amount of books that we came up to was not as satisfying as the one we went. The one we went before was learned that it was only for reference.

In the end, dad borrowed two books and so did I. Dad borrowed books about histories. One was about our Malayan warrior and another one was about world history regarding the Jerusalem. The fiction books were too juicy so I ended up borrowing two of it. Will do a book review about them soon after I finish reading it.

And for the icing of the day, I bought my baju raya :).

yours truly,
helinna

Intro - Starting Back Again.

Dear blog, I've been missing in action for the past few months. I'm sorry for neglecting you. I've decided that I will start writing again. This time, I'll try my best to keep up with the events in my life. I would want to stare back at it one day. Thinking what a reminiscence I had. Furthermore, I've decided that I want to keep this blog private. Only I will be the one reading it because I wouldn't want the whole world to read it. Besides, I think the main reason of why I want to write back is because I miss writing. Lately I've not been having creative moments of where I hold a pen and start writing non-stop everything that revolves around me. I miss it so badly. Hope this will turn out like I anticipate it to be.

your truly,
helinna

Wondering In My Own Thoughts

I am going to start back writing in my dull blog.

But this time,
this time I will be the only one reading it.
The main reason why I decided to private this blog was because I realized that I did not want the whole world to read about my life.
I want it to be kept to myself.
A blog is like a journal.
A journal is where you write your daily stuff.
Your daily stuff should just be between you and yourself.
Any dissatisfaction or happiness that revolved around you could be shared but in my opinion, not when I write it down in my blog.
I could always tell stories of hope.
I could always nudge the people that I love while playing a prank with them at the playground.
I could do whatever it takes to make them understand in my own words.
But I find it just a bit too impossible because for now I want to keep my veil thoughts.
Until then, cheers !

hi ?

I don't do blogging no more.

I post up stuff that I think might captivate other people.

Too bad no one pays attention anymore...

RAMADHAN

RAMADHAN is coming up. We should all turn over into a new leaf, that'd be much more comforting. Let's make this the best Ramadhan ever!

I am excited. Going for terawih later :).

I'm Back

for a while :)

no one is blogging anymore.

I feel so lost being here.

btw, will update soon when I feel like it.